Outside The London Apprentice, Isleworth 15 Feb 1985

Life's Experiences all gathered together, make up the people that we are today, tomorrow we may have a new experience that will change the way  we think. This experience that I had working for TV Licensing nearly twenty years ago changed my attitude somewhat.

I worked as a postman, between (1979 -1985).

It was during a winter spell that I was taken off my normal daily duties and asked to drive a TV Detector van, yes we had one of them in our local area: Hounslow. A van had been bought down from Bristol, accompanied by an operator, his name was Steve. Steve the (Detector man) got to work straight away. I was asked to parade this gleaming van up and down Hounslow High Street this was to scare the shit out of the locals.

Steve the (Detector man's) job was to sit in the back of the van monitoring the equipment whilst the detection was in progress.

We worked from a batch of cards with the names and address's of the suspected scabs that hadn't or couldn't pay.

I asked Steve if I could view the identities of these scabs, he let me look at the cards and to my surprise, my best friend, I found out was a scab, I warned him of his inevitable visit, so that he would have a chance to prepare (he rushed to the local post office prompt).

Every house in the United Kingdom, is presumed to have a TV and therefore every house in the UK is also presumed, must have a TV Licence, at the time Bristol controlled the Licence fee collection.

TV Licensing would send out reminders to every house in the land, those houses that TV Licensing did not receive money from were then investigated.

For two weeks, It was my job to Drive the detector van up and down the back streets of Hounslow, Isleworth, Feltham, Hanworth, Heston, Cranford

(all of these areas are in Middlesex). 

It was the winter of 1985, I only know that some twenty years later because the date is on the reverse of the displayed photograph.

During the day we would pay a visit to suspected dodgers homes, and after knocking the front door a couple of times, if their was no answer, Steve, the (Detector man) would walk around to the back of the property and peek through windows to see if he could spot a TV, he would also check the roof of the property to see if there was a TV aerial present, if the signs were good and the household were suspected of being a scabby dodgers, we would then return later in the evening, I sometimes worked until 9pm catching evaders.

Many things troubled me about the investigations, over the two week period.

On this, the second visit to properties that we had stopped at earlier, instead of knocking on the front door as Steve had done earlier in the day, he would  first check to see if the TV was being used, we scanned the property with the detector van and then Steve the (Detector man) would happily jump from the van, knowing he had a definite "Nick". That was the word he used regularly, I sometimes felt he should have been a policeman, he certainly gave the impression that he had the powers of one. He seemed to relish the thought of catching people red handed and by him acting in this way, I felt he was "Abusing his Authority".

I had to remain seated in the van whilst a nick was in progress. There was a third person on the van with us, he had been recruited for the two weeks, he worked in another section of the post office, in offices situated on Staines Road (number 65, I think) , I can't remember the Fella's name, just to say he was Turkish looking.

After the property scan and during  the nick, Steve and the Turkish looking fella would both go to the front door and enquire about the TV licence, both of them knew full well that the scabs not only had a TV, but what channel they were watching, and also what room they were watching it in.

The room that the TV was in was measured in distance from the vans detection system, It might have read for example, 20 feet, and that measurement would give Steve a rough idea of where the TV was, it could well have been on the far wall of the front room, but it could just as easy have been on the other side of that same wall in the back room.

 This is how the detection worked

I was asked to drive along the road very slow, slower than a pedestrian would walk, I drove in front of the property very very slowly and when the detector van was in line with a separating wall to the next door neighbours property or a drainpipe that divided the two properties.

• Steve would click the button and start the scan.

• The scan would carry on till we got to the end of the property.

I think, but I can't remember for sure buttons were pressed at positions of the property windows, the start of the window opening and the finish, by doing this Steve could tell if the signal was being emitted from the right hand side of the room or the left. After reaching the end of the evaders property.

• Steve would switch the scanner off.

The whole detection process couldn't have taken longer than 20 seconds

Steve investigated the wavy lines on the monitor, for the required information, how I remember it the waves were like that of a sound file on a computer but a little more elongated, with peaks and troughs, The TV channels BBC 1, BBC2, ITV and Channel 4 had different line patterns.

I remember the time of the year as being very cold with Ice on the roads, The Detector van was slipping about every where and on a few occasions I remember whilst turning the vehicle in dead end roads, we got stuck on sheets of ice many times.

Whilst trawling the local back streets the detector van always attracted groups of onlookers and during a scan of properties and a nick, Neighbours used to gather around the front garden of the dodgers and they sometimes stayed until after we had moved on.

I sadly remember one visit to a house in Myrtle Road, Hounslow, just of the high street by the bingo hall. This particular house contained a young lady with her young children.

Steve  had come back to the van smiling to himself after visiting the house the lady had been nicked.

Steve said that the woman gave him the excuse, that her husband had given her the money to purchase a Licence but she had bought food with the money instead, she also said that if her husband found out that she had been caught, he would beat her shitless, Steve also said that the woman had offered him into the house for sex, If he would let her off.

Sadly, Steve said

"had she been prettier, he would have accepted her offer, and pay the TV Licence for her."

The fear in our society, that would drive a person to do something that under normal circumstance, they would never dream off doing.

Some people don't give a stuff, so long as they don't have to be inconvenienced by adverts during Dr Who.

During my two week spell with TV Licensing, I was told to park the van in a safe noticeable spot at night time, so that people out and about in the evening might spot the van.

I used to park in the car park outside the Feltham Post Office. it had a clear view from Feltham High Street during the night.

A little while ago I noticed a TV Detector van parked in the Tesco Car park in Hayes, Middlesex across the road from Western International Market, a very busy popular spot where, I'm sure many people would see that "DETECTOR MAN IS IN TOWN", the van was empty of people and just parked up. 

The Fear of being caught without a TV Licence is what funds the BBC, It is not the quality programs as the BBC would have you believe.

And the staff of the BBC are paid with monies collected by threats, menaces, intimidation and harassment and that is not acceptable, now or ever.

 Human rights abuses occur daily and it has to stop NOW!!!